New Evolution
by ObscENyx
Summary: The hip hop warriors of the East; the 4 fierce ladies taking the world by storm; the New Evolution of the 21st Century! Series of unrelated, 2NE1-centric oneshots. Not rated M for a reason.
1. Introduction

**A/N:** Hey everyone! This is my second published story here, a series of oneshots based mainly on 2NE1 and its members. Before starting the fic, I'd like to explain some things, mainly the format.

Some chapters will be about 2NE1 as a whole. These will just have a title. Some are about an individual, some will be about 2NE1 and Big Bang or other groups, etc. These will have two titles; a category and the actual name of the oneshot.

Baddest Female: CL-centric  
>EroMinji: Minzy-centric<br>Yay for Corn: Bom-centric  
>Da-doong!: Dara-centric<br>Lollipop Revisited: 2NE1 & Big Bang  
>All Things Hallyu: 2NE1 &amp; other idolsgroups

Finally, the overall rating of this fic is M, because I do not trust myself one bit. However, the rating is not a constant M, so don't worry. M for a reason fics will have a warning beforehand.

That's all for now! 2NE1 fighting!

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><p>Park Sandara of 2NE1 stood on a chair in the dorm hallway, eyes narrowed at a black hunk of plastic in the upper corner, eyebrows knitted together and a concerned expression on her face. She inspected the object; why was it there? Who could've possibly put it there?<p>

The elevator opened with a ding!, making her jump and fall to the floor. She stared up at the blurry figure above her, mentally panicking as it moved closer. Was it a burglar? A thief? A crazed fan? A murderer on the loose? Perverts? What did they want with her? What could she do? She scolded herself through her frantic, fearful thoughts. 'You should have taken those self-defense lessons before you debuted! Stupid, stupid Dara!,' she thought. Oh, she was going die here, she just knew it! She didn't want to die like this; her death was supposed to be romantic, in the arms of her true love at an old, old age, not young and lying in a hallway!

"Unnie?"

Oh. It was CL. Okay.

The artificially blond leader stared at the woman on the floor. She noticed the chair Dara had fallen off of, and her gaze followed the wall upwards to the corner above the chair. A little red light blinked at her, and she could see her reflection in a dark circle of glass. She scowled, her eyes narrowing suspiciously as she turned back to her groupmate. "Why is there a camera pointed at the doors?"

Dara started panicking again. An angry CL was a very, very bad thing; especially when what or who had made her mad was on the floor, cornered, and easily bruised. "I don't know! I came back from the carwash and it was just there!"

CL's eyes didn't widen a millimeter. Her unnie was known to play tricks at times. Why should she believe what she said? She set down her shopping bags and took a step towards the brunette, who squealed and threw her hands in front of her face. Before the leader could do anything, however, the door behind them opened, and the purple-haired Gong Minji, aka Minzy, stuck her head out.

"What happened? I heard a crash." Her voice sounded as if she had just woken up—'lazy dongsaeng!' Dara criticized in her head.

CL pointed at the camera. "She put that thing up there while I was shopping." Dara gave another squeal, this one more indignant than frightened. "I did not," the PR manager exclaimed. "Someone snuck in and put it up there! Perverts! There are perverts lurking!"

Minzy laughed at her unnie's antics. "There are no perverts," she giggled as she climbed on the chair to inspect the camera. "It was probably just put there by the station or something." She stuck her face near the lens and smiled, whispering a greeting to the camera.

CL stared at the maknae like she had grown an extra head. "But 2NE1tv ended weeks ago."

Whatever Minzy had intended on coming back with, it was forgotten as a mop of messy, tangled orange hair poked out from behind the door Minzy had left open. The vocalist and final member of 2NE1, Park Bom, glared at the three in the hall through half-lidded eyes. "What is going on out here? I've been up for three days, I need rest! The least you could do is keep quie-" she stopped when she saw CL's hand fly up and point to the corner. She paused, trying to comprehend what it was through her sleep-clouded mind. Finally, it came to her.

"... camera?"

The purple-haired dancer snickered at the sleepy vocalist, who glared before turning back to the camera. "Why is there a camera in the hall?" CL pointed, once again, Dara—who had finally stood up from the floor. "For the last time, I didn't do it!" she whined.

Minzy, still playing with the offending object up on the chair, turned back to the other three. "Hey... I can't find an off button."

CL and Dara paid no attention. "Lying unnie! You were adjusting it right as I walked in!"

"No, I was scrutinizing it!"

"Admit that you put it there!"

"I didn't!"

"Admit it!"

"But I didn't do it!"

"Admit i-" the leader was interrupted by a crash. Her head shot up, expression changing from frustrated to confused. Dara's eyes shot around the hallway—the small-framed idol was still on high-alert and paranoid from finding the strange camera.

On the chair stood an unamused Bom, hoodie sleeve sliding down her arm. She stared at the camera; obviously broken, laying on its side on the floor.

"I found the off button."


	2. ATH: Pretty Guardian Sailor Bom!

**A/N:** ATH is an abbreviation of 'All Things Hallyu'. The entire title wouldn't fit, so I guess that's how I'm doing things now. I probably should have thought about that before, but you'll find I'm quite terrible at foresight and reason and coherent thought and all that nonsense. Now, onto the abomination! In the name of k-pop, we will destroy your childhood!

Do not use with sleeping medications, lysergic acid diethylamide, or significant quantities of sanity.

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><p>Seoul, the bustling capital of South Korea, was as obscenely loud as could be expected. The crisp night air was filled with car horns, skidding tires, and citizens complaining about unfair stereotypes. Yet not a single sound reached the ears of a certain red-haired corn addict. From where she stood on top of YG headquarters, the night was silent.<p>

_SLAP!_ "BITCH!"

Nevermind.

"It's my skirt, damn it! She bought it for _me_!" A bright orange skirt was yanked out of small hands, and a shrill, indignant cry rang out in the darkness. Kim Heechul, inexplicably away from his military-issued post and standing on top of a skyscraper at just past midnight, looked smug and victorious as he held the garment against his chest.

"Unnie would _never_," cried Sandara Park, inexplicably away from her me2day and pet cat. She glared at the man opposite her. He childishly stuck his tongue out at her, spitting and sputtering as the hairs of his long blond wig blew into his mouth with the wind. She spun on her heel and stared at the Korean woman behind her. "You wouldn't, would you unnie? I'm Sailor V, right, not the scary crossdresser?" Before her question could be answered, however, the man (man?) in question popped up behind her and slapped her from behind.

Bom sighed in relief as Dara whipped around, jaw dropped to the ground. "How _dare_ you hit a lady!"

Heechul crossed his arms and huffed into the cold night air. "You hit one first! I'm Sailor V, you can be Sailor Jupiter!" Dara stomped her foot and pointed to a spot near the edge of the building's roof. "I can't be Sailor Jupiter," she whined, "Seunghyun-oppa is!"

"I'm not comfortable with this."

Several feet away stood Choi Seunghyun, aka TOP, in a white blouse and emerald green skirt with matching heels, head covered by a brown wig styled in a ponytail and a wholly unamused expression on his face. His hands twitched in their position at his sides as he tried—and failed—to nonchalantly pull the hem of his skirt down to cover _all_ of his ass.

"D'awww," Kwon Ji-Yong (better known as G-Dragon) cooed, pinching the other man's cheeks. He was dressed in a black suit, cape, and top hat, with a white mask over his eyes. TOP both envied and hated him for it. "Hyung is blushing." The pink tint that covered TOP's cheeks darkened to a violent red, and he showed G-Dragon the truth behind the rumors of his mean right hook.

Nearby the still-blushing, unwillingly skirt-clad rapper, Choi Siwon sat on the building's ledge. He winced at the _thunk_ of G-Dragon hitting the cement and glanced around him, his eye noticeably twitching at his... company. He sighed, ignoring the shaggy bright blue hair that fell in his face. The wig he had mysteriously found himself in was poor quality, but it wasn't the worst he'd been forced into. The little blue skirt and matching knee-high heeled boots were among the worst, however, and the bow on his butt took the shitty cake. He watched Heechul and Dara's feud (which had continued with more slapping) with a bored, mildly tortured expression. CL, having woken up this morning as a blond-furred cat for some reason, sat at his feet. Her tail swished back and forth as she watched Bom try to sneak a corn cob down her throat.

"Bom-unnie, what are we doing up here? It's cold," the last member of the group spoke up. Minzy, dressed in a red-skirt version of TOP's outfit and current object of hatred, had remained silent most of the night, settling for shivering in a corner and watching Heechul and Dara's catfight. She had spent some time debating with herself on whether or not she should intervene on Dara's behalf. She then remembered a time when she accidentally addressed Heechul as unnie and dismissed the thought; she could throw a damn good punch, but Heechul slapped _hard_. He also had a penchant for hair-pulling, and with her hair having somehow grown overnight to a length it hadn't been since her trainee days, she didn't think she had much of a chance.

The artificial redhead turned her head slightly, trying to hide the corn before turning completely. After several seconds of staring blankly at Minzy over her shoulder, she pivoted on her heel, whipping her arm out to toss the corn cob as hard as she could and barely keeping herself from tipping over as she stopped herself with the heel of a knee-high red boot. She smiled sheepishly at the maknae, but the corners of her mouth turned down so quickly afterwards that it had to have been some sort of record when a loud, feminine yelp rang out in the night, followed by a startled yowl from CL. Dara cheered as Heechul dropped to the ground and held the orange skirt skyward. Siwon began beating his head against his knees and CL relocated to Minzy's lap, while G-Dragon collapsed in hysterics nearby. TOP stood in the farthest corner of the skyscraper's roof, the Super Junior member's dramatic writhing and shrieking going unnoticed by the rapper as he sulked over the unpleasant draft he felt.

Bom's eyes widened. She'd gone as white as a sheet the second he fell, and now she slowly inched her way around the screaming heap that was Kim Heechul, diving behind Minzy when she had come close enough. "Dongsaeng," she whispered, making Minzy sigh and utter an unenthusiastic, "hmm?"

"Hide meeeeeeeeeee!"


End file.
